So this is what our summer has looked like so far. Countless Baseball games, Early morning swim meets and well Chrissy Mac on his iPod playing mind craft or whatever that crazy game is called. Summer is my most favorite time of the year. Some may say I am a sun addict and it’s true that the feel of the summer sun on my face simply makes me happy. Well this summer I am DONE, DONE, DONE. Just like I was at the end of this school year… but now I can not wait for school to begin. I tried to provide them with an educational summer- we searched for sea shells and we discussed the importance of not littering in the ocean. We visited family and we attend some outdoor concerts. We visited the Inner Harbor in Baltimore and Danny went away to camp for two weeks. I think all three kids had a great and productive summer.
No, I did not search pinterest or family circle magazine for ideas on how to dye tee shirts using organic vegetables or make popsicle sticks out of fresh fruit. I did not bring my kids to the library or any science museums. NO -NO -NO- who the hell wants to pay entry fees for four people to watch the kids to run all over the place? I was determined to keep the summer simple while trying to fit a few lessons in as the days went by. We watched TV, a lot of TV. Shows like Seinfeld were great for life lessons and to instill in the kids the importance of nothing. We watched extreme tree house building – a lesson in carpentry and nature. They played on the ipod and played a few board games. Trying to explain to Daniel that you can’t spend all your money right away in Monopoly was quite the chore. Wow! I was doing it, really doing it, little did I know I was teaching them Math over the summer – Monopoly was my math lesson! We filled water balloons and had massive water balloon fights and when Donald came home from work we listened to him scream – “who is gonna pick up all those broken balloons?” Water balloon filling was a science lesson! Again I was doing it, teaching them over the summer and I did not know it!
There were many lessons learned at the Manorhaven pool where overstimulated kids and frazzled parents gathered to get relief from the heat. Ahhh the smell of chlorine and sunscreen. Here comes my science lesson again- The sun is hot you will need sunscreen. furthermore there will be sunburn if no sunscreen is used- it hurts and you may need aloe to feel some relief. Another lesson in earth science, plants and such. I was rocking this summer home schooling gig. The kids learned the importance of not peeing in the pool, woman of a certain age should shave their legs and 250 pounds of shit can NOT fit into a 100 pound bag. I was ready for more lessons over the summer what could be next, I know lets take them shopping and show them how much money it costs to feed our family of five (sometimes six.) Off we go to the store.
Summertime is when the refrigerator is always empty and kids complain that there is never anything to eat. So why not teach them how much work it is to keep that fridge full and a lesson in how much money it costs to do so. It’s a rite of passage that every parent has to experience, taking the kids shopping and experiencing the “supermarket shakedown.” This unique shakedown is usually precipitated by the kids viewing all sorts of candy confections, promptly followed by the unequivocal “NO!”.
Off we go to Stop and Shop, grocery list in hand and we discuss in the car that we are only getting what is on the list. We go to the fruits and veggies first then head for the meat and the dairy products. All is going well and I send Johnny to the Deli line to get what I need. Christian insists he go with John and I am left with Danny who is sneaking all sorts of useless electronic items and toys in the cart. I hear over the loud speaker clean up in isle 6 and I run to see if this was one of my children breaking something. Nope not mine thank god, some other mother is screaming cause her kid decided to shake the 6 pack of yoo-hoo glass bottles and it is all over the floor. Chris comes back and I ask where John is and he lost him somewhere after the deli to the woman serving cheese and cracker samples. We find John and we try to complete the trip but a fight inevitably breaks out over who wants waffles, who wants French toast sticks and what flavor ice cream to get. Then comes the we are only buying the ice cream that’s on sale fight and why do we always have to get the store brand bread fight. I am exhausted from this lesson and all I want to do is get home. We check out and the kids are amazed on how much only one cart of groceries cost. I slide my debit card through the machine and Danny wants to know where the money comes from to pay the bill. I distract the question by saying “hey look the bank here is offering free lollipops”. I am too tired for another Math lesson.
As we arrive home we being the fight of who is carrying in the groceries and who is helping mom put everything away. I unload and stock up the mother load of groceries in the fridge and the cabinets. Daniel invites all of the neighborhood kids over, they eat and drink most of my food and the kids say that same afternoon there is nothing in this house to eat.
Today I await the letter from the Port Washington School district announcing who my kids will have for teachers for this year. So I can email them telling them how excited I am for school to start. I am tired of being the teacher.
Off to target for school supplies, I will let you know how it goes.