6 to 40

August 20, 2005 my 30th birthday.  I can recall being VERY pregnant with Chrissy Mac and on complete bed rest.  DJ and Laura and the family had planned a super sized 30th surprise in my Father’s Glenwood home.  All to be cancelled because my feet resembled two large tree trunks. My blood pressure was off the charts and i was running after a 3.5 year old Johnny and a 15 month old Danny Boy.  As I spend my days these days with MJ I often wonder how the hell we did it.  Life was most hectic with three kids under 3.5 years of age.  However me and the old man we really liked each other back then and kept reproducing.

February 20, 2003 my half birthday i was 27.5 years old.   The day we lost my precious Mother Janice.  Suddenly and with out warning just a few weeks after her 50th birthday she was gone.  This past September I went the my friend Matt’s 50th birthday.  A lovely house party thrown by his wife Donna.  As we all stood and sang to him as he blew out his candles and hugged his three beautiful girls I began to sob.  Hysterical at one point I had to leave the house and sit outside and a friend came to me and asked what was wrong I was unable to speak.  I cleared my face of the tears and went back to the party.  On the way home I said to Donald 50 – THAT is what 50 looks like ????  Matt is 50 and that is the face of a FIFTY year old ??? My mother was so young and had missed out on so much life had ahead for her.

I can clearly remember Mom turning 40.  She and some friends were going to see Tom Jones at Westbury Music Fair.  She was all dressed and excited to go see one of her favorite heart throbs.       All I could remember was how dumb is that going to see some old guy sing.  Now I find myself bursting with excitement every time I have 64 year old Billy Joel tickets in my hands.  They would have a little house party a few days later Dad invited the neighbors and some friends to come celebrate.  They would dance around to disco music, drink beer and wine and laugh all night long.  Everyone smoked and the house was filled with the odor of Mom’s Virginia Slim Regulars.  There was a game of poker or some kind of card game in the dining room and a bunch of woman giggling in the living room.   What a silly way I thought to spend your birthday.  Just last week I celebrated my friends 40th at her house where we all had a glass of wine in hand giggling as we danced to disco music till 4am.  Wow who knew.

Now approaching my 40th I can’t help but think back to those 10 years ago as I was turning 30.  Fearful of what middle age would bring.  Well middle age has brought me three amazing boys, an outstanding marriage and quite a few grey hairs.  Middle age has brought me two beautiful Nieces and a completely perfect Nephew with one on the way.  It has taught me to love deeply as tomorrow is never promised.  Middle age has brought me to know the meaning of true friend ship and the deep love and respect I have for those relationships.  Most specifically for my best friend Shannon who constantly reminds me that no matter the distance, the hectic life, the kids, the husbands whatever she loves me and always will.  She has walked though life always by my side.

Statistically I have lived half my life.  With 6 months to go till I am 40 I am looking forward not backwards.  My Mother only had 10 years left at this point I am determined to make the most of the years ahead.

 

Toothpaste In The Sink

4:45AM and the alarm sounds for the first try of the morning wake up for Donald.  My heart immediately starts to race as I know the morning madness will commence shortly.  I am a morning person, always have been.  Its a fresh start to a new day ahead but for the last 7-8 years mornings for me are why I have been placed on anti anxiety medication.

6:15 – a soft call up the stairs to Johnny for him to wake up.  6:17 – a light and calm “oh Johnny Boy time to get up.”  6:20 – Now get up and come down dressed.  He follows direction and half asleep gathers his books, lunch, water bottle, instrument etc. and gets ready for the day.  He is dressed, teeth brushed, hair combed, jacket on and ready for the 6:50 bus.  Always gives his mother a kiss says I love you and off he goes to the bus stop.

6:51 – I take a moment to think about what’s ahead and then I go in to the first floor bedroom of my two little ones Christian and Daniel with a smile and a song.  I usually sing some silly tune to start to wake them and before you know it out comes Christian from his covers.  He is usually only in underwear or sometimes just in a cape and his skinny little legs go hobbling to the couch for some spongbob square pants.

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7:00AM – DANIEL….. Trying to stay calm I try once again with my silly song and he is not amused. I instantly begin begging.  Please please please just get up – Don’t make me go to work all worked up – please just get up and get dressed….

Begging does not work.  I then rip the sheets off, I have no success other then finding several missing socks he must have removed stuck down at the bottom of the bed.  Poor Christian is looking for breakfast but I can’t help him because I am only on phase two of my wake up Danny plan.  Now the yelling begins but its a strange sort of quiet yell I do.  You know the one with the teeth clenched together… You are going to wake up your Grandmother who sleeps above you get the heck out of this bed now before I … There is ZERO movement and Christian is deep into his cartoon and has no idea what is happening around him.  I leave him for a moment, pack the lunches in their bags, make sure all their homework is in the bags, planner signed, permission slip signed, contract for good behavior at cultural studies signed, box tops placed in the bag, water bottles filled, snacks in bag, take a sip of coffee, pee, brush my teeth, get my lunch together, get my makeup on, get dressed and start phase three of the Daniel wake up.

7:20 – Now this is serious business no more Mrs. nice Mom.  Now I am lifting him out of bed.  And after some real good threats I get him up.  Standing up and looking at me as I was the devil he starts to undress.  But now comes the part where we fight about its -25 degrees outside and you want to wear what???? Shorts and a tee shirt???? Now we play the I can’t find my sneakers game and your the worst Mom ever because I only have one pair of sneakers.  I get a good ole “I hate my life!” and now its the brush your teeth fight.

7:35 – Let’s go boys we are leaving now… Christian gets his shoes on, brushes his teeth, jacket and backpack on and stands by the door.  I can’t find Daniel.  Where is he?  Playing xbox and wants me to wait cause he just got on and he wants to beat this level.  That teeth clenched yell starts again when I half scream to get the heck up here we are leaving.  Christian is now sitting on the floor because he knows this may take sometime.  Bags in hand I run to the basement to grab the game from him and he knows I mean business.  Up the stairs he come stomping he hates his life and that I am the worst Mom ever and grabs his backpack and we leave.  Get in the car and I ask did you brush your teeth and where is your jacket?  I grab him and bring him inside and watch as he brushes his teeth and then wont let him out without a jacket.  Off we go to school and he says Mom I have trumpet today.  Well guess where that his.  Back home we go….  I drop them off the car door slams in his anger and off to work I go.

This was my morning yesterday and pretty much my Morning today except for on Monday, Wednesday and Friday they need to be at school at 7:15 so all this starts just a little earlier on those days.  When I get home from work and am ready for the bus to drop them off I am reminded by the toothpaste that is left in the sink for me to clean that I will have to do this all again tomorrow.